ESPN: We let our anchors write thier own bio's

The title of this post, while seemingly insulting to the biggest sports media conglomerate in the world, is also true. I found this out when doing my routine google search for "dumb things Jim Rome said". I did not need to go far to find just what i was looking for. The first link that appeared was a link to his mini-bio on ESPN.com. I thought was a good place to start. See how wrong his media co-horts were about his abilities as a journalist and then prove it. I just didn't think they would be this wrong. While reading through his bio, i began to realize that Jim Rome is one of the greatest people living. No Seriously, take a look and you can see just how Jim Rome is better than you peons. I will reproduce his entire paragraph long bio, intersperced with my own comments. As before, what he said is in bold. What i say is not.

Seasoned television and radio sports talk authority

Ok, let me stop you right there. Seasoned, I can understand. He has been around the block a few times. He has seen his fare share of things, relating to sports. But an authority on radio sports talk? Leave that to the pros. Like Mike and Mike. God those guys are charming with their banter, and their antics... Just get a room already! Or at least tell us when you guys are settign the date for your wedding. Back to my point; Jim Rome Sucks. I will continue.

Jim Rome hosts Jim Rome is Burning, a 30-minute talk show on ESPN every weekday afternoon (4:30 p.m. ET). One of the top opinion leaders of his generation

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. "One of the top opinion leaders of his generation"?! first of all, opinion leaders is not a phrase. No one is an opinion leader, because opinions are just that; opinions. And "Of his generation"??!?! Seriously, how self-centered is this guy? What an ass. To hear him tell it, if you were born in the 70's or 60's and haven't sucked Jim Rome off a couple of times you are a nobody. Honestly, how can you live saying you have never tasted a peice of the Romester?! This paragraph also highlights another thing i like to think embodys who Jim Rome is ( besides being a gigantic bag of douche): he speaks about himselfin the third person. "But Yun," you may ask, "how do know he is speaking about himself, and someone else isn't writing his biography? And how do you know that it isn't an autobiography, but a real biography, written by someone not named Jim Rome?" Well dearest reader, I would answer, no one loves Jim Rome more than Jim Rome. And also no one in their right mind ( a group which obviously doesn't include Jim Rome) would write the next line. Read on:

Rome's unique style has made him one of the most compelling and influential forces in the sports broadcasting world.

Bullshit. A lie, if ever i have heard one. Unique eh? last time i checked, Tony Cornhieser has the same angry douche shtick as you, and since he was born in the 1430's, and you are a hot 21 year old stud who is the newest love intrest of Jessica Alba and Megan Fox at the same time (or so you would have us believe); Tony is first. Therefor you are the copycat, even though you do play the asshole role more convincingly.

The program originates from Los Angeles and features opinion, Rome's "rants," debate and guest appearances by some of the biggest names in sports.


Dude, BRO! Didn't you hear?! The Biggest names now go on Jim Rome! THANK fucking GOD DUDE!! Those fuckers finally wised UP!!! I love that guy dude!! When he just burns on women and nerds!? FUCK, i almost bust a NUT! I heard that last week BroJim managed to get on BRETT FUCKING MYERS DUDE! That guys beats his wife! (KTTG side note:I do not condone domestic violence of any kind, but i cannot say with any certainty that Jim shares my views) I LOVE IT, he has to be like, the 200th best pitcher out there! You CAN'T do any better than that!!
-a typical Jim Rome Supporter (or Rome Drone as we here at Keys like to call them)

Known for his aggressive, informed and rapid-fire dialogue, Rome's "tell it like it is" approach has earned him the title of "the King of Smack."

From who? His mom? I would bet all the money i currently possess that the "King of Smack" is the only one ever to call "the King of Smack" "the King of Smack". Until me.

His unique style has spawned a legion of admirers -- "clones" -- who have adopted his vernacular.

Ok, i get it. Women want him. Men want to be him. But isn't it insulting to say that anyone who is anrgy on TV is a clone of Jim Rome? If anything, Jim Rome is at least only a clone himself... of Satan. Or maybe just a demon. At the very least he is a copy of someone that no one likes. Als didn't he say he was unique? Sorry Jimbo, but if everyone is copying you, you are no longer considered unique. Kinda like on the playground when you wore those new blue jean overalls, but little Buster Olney had on the same pair. Sure it made you mad and you tried to kick him and bite him (since everyone knows you fight like a baby, as evidenced by the Jim Everett incident). But Jim, Buster has every right to to the same thing as you. It doesnt make him a clone. It makes you arrogant to think you are unique. Also he is a better journalist than you and he has something you never will; the respect of his peers.

Rome has served as host of The Last Word with Jim Rome on Fox Sports Net since 1997. Prior to that, he was host of ESPN2’s Talk2, a nightly live, one-hour call-in program (1993-94). During that time he also appeared as a contributor on ESPN’s UpClose with Roy Firestone. Rome will continue to host his nationally syndicated radio program, The Jim Rome Show, a.k.a The Jungle.

With this line Jim manages to both brag while also giving his show a nickname.and a badass nickname at that. i mean, who in their right mind would enter "the jungle" and fight "the King of Smack"! Man, that guy sure loves nicknames! I have a few i would like to call him, but for legal purposes i will refrain.

He has appeared in The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler; played himself in Two for the Money with Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey;

That's cool. Play the contemporary card, we get it, Jim is awesome. He was in movie, therefor he is awesome. You know who else is in movies? Dane Cook. I Love that guy, bro!

made a cameo alongside Michael Jordan in Space Jam;

OK, we understand jim is cool. you can stop telling us now.

oddly enough, this is the first and last time that Jim was in a room with Michael Jordan. Never on his Show. Oops. Sorry. I mean, never on "the JUNGLE".

appeared in Blink 182's music video and appeared on HBO's Arli$$;

At the Jim Rome Biography writers room: GUYS, I GOT IT! What do kids love? Punk Music. Who is a very punk band? Blink 182! they even have tattoos! Lets talk about how Jim was on HBO, that channel is HOT!

A sidenote about HBO, they gave JOE FUCKING BUCK his own show. They are therefor no longer culturally relevant. sorry jim, but a cameo just doesnt cut it.

and released a CD, Welcome to the Jungle, which features memorable sound bites

I will go on the record and say i have never heard a memorable soundbite from "the Jungle". Not that i listen alot. The last time i did that i was hospitalized, and the docter said the only cure was to stop listening to shit. Jim was out.

from frequent callers and the hip music regularly used on his radio show.

AHHAHAHAHAHAHA right, all of that hip music from "the jungle". Like blink 182! They are so hip and awesome. they even featured JIM ROME on one of their music videos. Coincidentally, this cameo was then written about by Don Mclean in American Pie.

See: "the day the music died"

Rome began his radio career at KTMS, Santa Barbara as the traffic and local sports reporter. He left KTMS for San Diego’s all-sports station, XTRA Sports 690. It was during a temporary stint on a late-night show for the station that Rome debuted his now famous “smack” style.

That now famous style. That one that i had heard zero mentions of before i read this painfully self promoting autobiography. right. that style.

In 1996, the show went national with a syndication deal with Premiere Radio Networks.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Jim Rome went on to prevent disasters such as the black plague, the JFK assassination, and the downfall of the once famous band Blink 182

Rome was graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara in 1987, with a degree in communications

I guess i can't argue with this one except to say that i am surprised he graduated elementary school, let alone college. And with a degree!? bullshit. well... maybe not. but again, color me impressed at his tremendous accomplishments.

I wish I was Jim Rome.
not.